It is amazing how quickly old patterns slip back in, for me it seems to take constant vigilance.
Had a break in our MKMMA program this week for the Holiday, this was not a good thing it seems. My old blueprint seems to be quit well entrenched. I’ve noticed myself in the I don’t want to’s. Do you ever feel that way? You know what’s good for you and you do just the opposite. Or you do what you must but begrudgingly.
I worked this week to remind myself that the transformation I’m working on is something I’ve been striving for, it’s been year even decades coming and I can’t stop now.
What I did get this week was the realization that the rituals I’m developing need to be fun they need to be a joy not a chore. I must remember what I’m working toward is the Land of Paradise, and it is ALL WORTH IT.
It is rather amazing to me how addicted I am. I haven’t had a drink or a drug in over 28 years and yet I’m addicted. It seems my body is addicted to the chemical reactions created from my thoughts and feelings. My body wants it’s fix. In the same way that I used drugs and alcohol to create a life I didn’t want, caused me and those around me to suffer and yet I couldn’t quit. I’m addicted to drama, frustration, defeat and lack and limitation and all the feelings associated with that way of life.
In order to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body I had to turn my will and my life over to a power greater than myself. (Which I chose to call God) I must once again admit of myself I am nothing it’s the Father within which doeth the work. So here goes Dad take this addiction from me. I can’t do it you can, so let’s go!
I AM ready, now is my time. My God is much bigger than any addiction, She can handle it all and I let it go now.
Peace & Blessings
I always appreciate your comments and support. We are all in this together.
Yes I Survived! It was not easy and it is done. this was a week of old mental habits battling new thought patterns.
Not comfortable at all and I don’t know that growth should always be comfortable. I don’t hold to the old saw “No pain no gain” because I have gained in times of joy as well as times of sorrow. And I get that pain can be a touch point for growth. This week I fell into old patterns of thought and rather than Think God as I am want to say, I fell into ruminating (an old habit) and while this pattern did break quicker than days of old it was not comfortable. It could be the thought of “Billy you should be above all this or So and So is not having these troubles come up” Do you ever think that way or is it just me. I should be farther along or compare myself to someone else, as if I really know what they are thinking or feeling:)
No I must say this adventure down the rabbit hole was not nearly as long as previous trips and it was no fun. I think the worse part of this type of trip for me is being aware. Wouldn’t it be great to go into the dark places and not notice you’re there? Or would it? On this adventure I was there most of the time observing the process, watching the addiction play out. I say Thank God for that awareness, Thank God I saw me this week. I’m certain it shortened the trip. It may have enhanced the pain, really feeling not ignoring, and all in all I would rather see me in hopes of transformation than be unconscious to what I’m doing with no hope of change.
The great thing is it’s a new week, a new opportunity for growth comfortable or not. The chance to move another step closer to the person I AM not the person I’ve lied myself into believing I am, the chance to change to transform, to clear away the mud of illusion.
Peace & Blessings
Ok here we go, if you have been following this blog you have gotten a glimpse of the transformation I’ve been going through working in the Master Key Master Mind Alliance. While I may have not been clear about the process I’ve been going through I apologize and may rectify that in a latter post.
And at this point life has gotten pretty weird, what with attempting to have no opinions, or at least not voicing them every time I turn around, and being on a 7 Day Mental Diet, 7 my eye more like 70, it seems putting together 7 whole days catching my negative thoughts and replacing them with positive is in no way as easy as it sounds. At least for me it’s been work, it seems my mental habits are so ingrained, catching them has not been a simple matter. But I digress, I title this post Wifes Complaints and I’m going there Now.
My wife Maryruth is my Soul Mate, partner, business partner and my best friend. while Maryruth did not sign up for the MKMMA adventure she has been participating with me and listening as I do my readings. We have worked on mutual DMP’s and goals together. And let me say Thank God because she keeps me on track at times when I would just a soon run right off the rails:)
Well here comes the complaint, Maryruth tells me her life is trashed and it’s Mark’s fault. Mark if you don’t know is Mark Januszewski our wonderful mentor and Master Mind leader. It turns out that Maryruth had made some significant decisions about her life and relationships. And now the process of MKMMA has ruined that for her. Now she is going around giving gifts to people, the gifts of time, a compliment, listening. Suddenly people are reciprocating and not from the people she has gifted. truly she is in the Dynamic Flow Of Giving and receiving.
Now would that be enough to trash her life? Of course not, well there’s more now she has a Service card and knows her PPN. Now here’s where it gets really dicey she is making promises to herself and keeping them. Commitments to her health and her liberty. It’s ridiculous here Maryruth had this nice normal unhappy life and here she is moving forward happily being of service to people and herself. And she’s pissed pardon my french all this change happening all these new opportunities, all this transformation, all this positive movement and growth.
I don’t know about you but I AM amazed and impressed that the MKMMA process can be achieved by osmosis and Thank God, Mark, the fabulous Davene and the crew. I Am so truly Grateful for this experience our lives are being magnificently transformed.
Stay tuned you never know what you might read here.
Peace & Blessings,
I don’t know about you and for me I am Blown away at what my Marvelous Mind can do when properly used!
I been working in a practice of what Hannal (Master Key) calls sitting in my daily life for 8 weeks or so now. I actually began sitting (meditation) a few years ago and I had not been consistent in my practice until becoming part of MKMMA. A week or so before the class started I began the practice of sitting. Investing at least 15 minutes a day into myself. No doubt some of you reading this are thinking investing 15 minutes in sitting what a waste of time. I’m much to busy to waste 15 minutes on just sitting. Or their may be those u among you that are thinking 15 minutes that’s nothing I do at least an hour a day. For the latter group Bravo and congratulations, for the former, invest in yourself you could be amazed as I have been.
This process started out as just sitting and not moving, yes you read that correctly, Not moving for 15 minutes and if I moved I had to start all over again, for another 15 minutes. For me this when I started was not easy, I took practice, if my nose didn’t itch, I got a leg cramp or had to cough for no reason. Although with practice I Got it and I know you can also if your willing to invest in yourself. I call this and investment because the ROI I’ve received from this practice is AMAZING! Thus the OMG at the top of this post and for me it could be a TYG (Thank You God) because I feel so blessed from the experience.
Essentially following the directions in the Master Key I changed my mind. Rather than the voice in my head, rambling on about whatever crazy noise, idea or attitude it wanted to talk about, I got to make my on story and emotional experience. By the way if your wondering what voice, the one that just asked the question, that voice. Have you ever wondered who’s listening to that voice?
I got to create in my mind the story of my transformation, the transformation created by becoming part of MKMMA and Committing to the processes. I sat with a friend in my mind and watch his eyes as I talked about the changes that had taken place in my life over the last year. I could feel the water on my cup of blended Chi tea, I could here the sounds of the coffee shop going on around us. Most valuable of all I could Feel the Joy, pride and Gratitude for all that had happened, and watched my friends reactions and the joy in his eyes at the win that had been created. THIS IS THE PROPER USE OF THE MIND!
Creating and experiencing the life I chose to live. I say creating because I know that everything in this world was first a thought. A thought that was loved supported possibly obsessed over until it manifested in the physical.
On this Sitting thing Try it You’ll Like it. You Are Worth it. And if you want some help or ideas about how to make it work for you, let me know I AM a grateful giver.
Peace & Blessings
OK here we go…
This has been the most interesting week yet in my Hero’s Journey to Freedom.
I realize that some who along with me on this magnificent journey are having a wonderful time. Things are changes wonders are happening and dare I say it, yes say it, say it, Miracles are happening in their lives.
Sad to say, no scratch that, gratefully saying it has been a hard, and disappointing week for me. I have battled most every day with taking the actions I know will change my life forever. It has been a fight to energize my readings to sit and focus during my meditations and especially to not have opinions about everything.
You may be thinking what a schmuck this guy is so stuck he’ll not be able to breakthrough, he’ll be stuck in the same old grind, of lack, limitation, opinions and fears for the rest of his life. If that the case for you, you’re not alone because I’ve had those moments this week myself. But I realized this is exactly where I AM supposed to be. Rather than comparing myself to those lucky dogs who have already broken through, I got Clear this is my Hero’s Journey not anyone elses! That being the case I needed to stop comparing, stop having an opinion about where I was and go with the flow. Go with the flow of my experience of this adventure, allow myself to feel whatever I felt, allow my thoughts to come through, evaluate them and clean them out or use them to propel myself forward.
I got (Groked) that I was moving towards or possibly in the middle of a Breakthrough. What does that mean? For me it means I AM so challenging my old Blueprints (Beliefs Systems) my subconscious is rebelling, fighting willing to do anything to survive, which means whatever you do don’t change. The breakthrough means the old Blueprint will Die, be destroyed, blown through, Broken Through.
The problem is if I don’t hold on continue to do my reading my sitting my visioning my new life could Die before it really has a chance to be birthed and Live. Having gone through more than one major shift in my life I know what a breakthrough feels like and what it feels like when the battle for the old is going on, and when the old blueprint is about to Die out.
As I write this I feel the change a comin’ Breakthrough is here Baby. If you’ve read this far, I must say Thank You. Now I must ask, Have you Broken Through or are you still in the battle, or worse yet have you let your new life opportunity Die?
Where ever you are I honor you in your journey, I praise your willingness to even attempt the Journey.
Peace & Blessings
I must say that this weeks biggest take away has been this concept of a Mental house Cleaning. The Master Key lesson spoke to the reality that most of our mental activity is Sub Conscious. I’ve written to this concept before, the illusion is rampant in the world most people are under the illusion that the conscious mind is in control and the reality is just the opposite.
In fact Haanel writes in The Master Key “At least ninety percent of mental life is subconscious, so those who fail to make use of this power live within very narrow limits” He goes on to say ” the subconscious can and will solve any problem for us if we know how to direct it” a bit later he states “we are today the result of our past thinking” If you buy into any of this as I do you began to realize how necessary a mental house cleaning can be.
The way I speak to this concept is what we think about we bring about. The problem then comes in if there is trash in my thinking then would I not manifest trash. Or to bring it home if I think about lack, limitation, anger, upset what else could I manifest. Haanel states, “when this metal house cleaning process has been completed, the material which is left will be suitable for the making of the kind of ideals or mental images which we desire to realize.”
I love how Mark J brought this into our weeks lesson. He tells us to offer no opinions for the week. As if that’s possible:) Yes no opinions for the week. Of course he gave us a break letting us know it would not happen over night and when we did of course offer opinions we were to notice this action in our mental activity. I don’t know about you but I have an opinion about just about every thing I’m involved in. And even if I don’t speak it out loud the opinions roll though my mind.
Interestingly enough I’ve been studying Napoleon Hills 16 lessons of Success and of course he speaks of not offering an opinion and if you are given an opinion be certain to check the source. In my case the source quite often is me.
Being a judgement and evaluation machine my opinions enter into every thing I do and here comes the mental house cleaning. As I become aware of my opinions I can stop my self from voicing them, if I can stop my self from voicing them possibly I can at least lesson that layer of trash.
I don’t know about you but I’m ready to clean house, start fresh and be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
Peace & Blessings
The illusion is that our conscious mind is in control of what we do. I mean the illusion goes, what we think about we bring about, that being said, for me this has not been the case, or has it. while I have thought the good though , had wonderful intentions, and yet with all those good thoughts and intentions, my dreams have not manifested.
Now don’t get me wrong it’s not as if I don’t have a great life, I do, it’s that I have had some dreams, dreams that I’ve loved, I wanted, I affirmed, I treasure mapped, I set goals, I visioned. I did all the stuff the books, the mentors, the gurus tell me I am supposed to do to bring into life the dreams of my heart.
OK here’s the illusion that, what I think about I bring about, the problem, as I see it is threefold. First I could not keep up the pace, meaning I stopped before the miracle happened. This is not unusual for me, sad to say I have been a great starter and a lousy finisher in the past, That’s not like me now. Also to quote OG Mandino’s Greatest Salesman “Nature acts never in haste” It takes time!!! The reason it takes time is my second point It’s not what I think about It’s what my Subconscious thinks about what I think about. Yes back to my early illusion, my conscious mind can think all it wants and if my Subconscious does not by in it’s all for not.
Second part of the problem is my subconscious mind has other ideas programed in it that are not in alignment with my hopes and dreams. AND IT RUNS THE SHOW how sad is that. I didn’t affirm, focus, intend, treasure map or love long enough and focused enough to effect the changes needed in my subconscious to make my dreams a reality. Spoiler alert here the subconscious mind is our connection tho the infinite, what I call God Source. Sorry if that offends, well not really.
If your still reading Thank You and onto the third part of my problem of not manifesting my dreams. It for the most part has always been I, me, my. You see I never truly realized the power of “The Master Mind” the tool of connecting with other like minded people. No I mean really connecting, not hanging around on the outside looking in but truly connecting. I have discovered the power of the group. The Synergy that comes from multiple minds focused on the same thing. The feeling of not letting the group down. It is one thing, sad to say, letting myself down, giving up too soon, quitting, not fully committing, it is another all together to let the group down. There is so much more power when it’s not all about me.
Sorry this is so wordy I’ll quit soon. I appreciate your comments and interest in my journey.
Peace & Blessings
You may or may not realize I am going through a very unique process, part of which is my commitment to adding posts to this blog. Well I let myself down this week, because I have a commitment to post here by Friday and here it is Saturday.
Now my mind came up with finding a way to back date the post to at least make it look as if I kept my agreement. But the problem with that is, doing that I may be able to fool some people and I could not fool myself, at least now. Sadly at times in my life it has been so easy to lie to myself and believe it. NO LONGER am I willing to cheat myself.
Now why has this week been so tough. For one it really hasn’t in the big picture, realizing I have a roof over my head and most of the bills paid. At the same time it has been tough in the sense that possibly the newness has worn off or I think more to the point my mind is retaliating! Yes I think my mind is balking at doing anything that might break my some of my bad habits. You see I do a daily reading of specific items and it the same readings can you say repetitive.
What has happened is I got angry about doing my readings. Here it was the last hour of my day and of course this is pone of the times throughout my day when I do my readings. And pardon my french, I’m pissed don’t want to do it, and really for no good reason I’m just pissed. OF COURSE I DO MY READINGS, I know you were thinking he just skipped it that night and went back at it in the morning whole new day and all that. No I could not just skip it, you see I have a commitment and this time I AM HONORING my commitment not only to my Master Mind Alliance but mostly to myself.
I have been lying to myself for decades. I’ve been telling myself “It’s OK you can start again tomorrow” Well the fact is it is not OK to skip a commitment with the lie that you can just start again tomorrow. I am better than that, I deserve to treat myself better, I MUST STOP lying to myself, my commitments Matters and I Matter, and I can no longer cheat myself.
Now let’s talk about the good stuff, THIS WEEK ROCKED. I won, I kept commitments to myself, I did what I told myself I would do. For some of you, I can hear you saying SO I do that all the time, Congratulations if that is the case for you, my hat is off to you. As for me while I do keep commitments with you on a regular basis, I don’t always keep commitments with ME. It seems it’s easy to cheat me. In fact I have cheated myself and others out of the life I’ve wanted, dreamed of and deserved. NO LONGER am I willing to cheat me.
Are you ever at a loss for what to say or what to write?
This is one of those times for me, the last thing I want to do is write in my blog.
Of course that really doesn’t matter when you have a commitment to yourself. At least that is what I’m learning lately. In the past I have neglected my commitments to myself, so much so that, unbeknownst to me I no longer trusted myself to keep my commitments to myself. Now I didn’t realize this until recently I was reading “The Speed of Trust” by Stephen R Covey.
What I got from Covey’s book was that by not keeping my commitments to myself, by telling myself I’m going to make calls, or clean my office or investing time in study or meditation time, and then not keep my word to myself. I created an unconscious distrust of me. How weird is it to think that, while I am trust worthy in the world, I don’t trust me to keep my word to me.
This week I have been working with some new techniques and tools. With the opportunity and support of my Mastermind Alliance and my commitment to my alliance and my new commitment to myself I have been WINNING. I feel that I have a new opportunity to learn to TRUST myself again. I realize it will take time and consistent positive actions and i can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Am I the only one?
I have for years I have had Dreams, Goals and aspirations only to fail at having them come to fruition. I have used affirmations, treasure maps, Prayed, visioned, hoped and wished to no avail.
Now one more time I set out on an adventure and the first part of my trip is to dream again, to plan again, to decide again. On a Definite Major Purpose to look one more time into the recesses of my Soul and uncover that one real purpose for my life and commit again to its attainment.
I have had so many over the years that I have given up on, I am hard pressed to go at it one more time. It is as if I have just settled, given in to the world as it is, the pain of lost Dreams seems to great to plow through.
Am I the only one who has given up on their Dreams? Am I the only who finds it hard to dust off the old and make it new? A sadness for me is, I think not. I think I’m not the only one I think I’m not alone. The sad feeling for me is many of us give up on our dreams, we just can’t do it one more time. Whether it’s a new purpose, relationship or starting that business we’ve dreamed of, many of us just give up.
I’m here to tell you I Am ready to commit again to my Dreams my Purpose. I Am here to stay I Am burning the boats, willing to follow direction, listen and learn One More Time. Because My Dreams are worth it, Because I AM WORTH IT!
“You have been disappointed, you have undergone defeat during the depression,
you have felt the great heart within you crushed until it bled. Take courage, for
these experiences have tempered the spiritual metal of which you are made-they
are assets of incomparable value.” Napoleon Hill
Peace & Blessings