You may or may not realize I am going through a very unique process, part of which is my commitment to adding posts to this blog. Well I let myself down this week, because I have a commitment to post here by Friday and here it is Saturday.
Now my mind came up with finding a way to back date the post to at least make it look as if I kept my agreement. But the problem with that is, doing that I may be able to fool some people and I could not fool myself, at least now. Sadly at times in my life it has been so easy to lie to myself and believe it. NO LONGER am I willing to cheat myself.
Now why has this week been so tough. For one it really hasn’t in the big picture, realizing I have a roof over my head and most of the bills paid. At the same time it has been tough in the sense that possibly the newness has worn off or I think more to the point my mind is retaliating! Yes I think my mind is balking at doing anything that might break my some of my bad habits. You see I do a daily reading of specific items and it the same readings can you say repetitive.
What has happened is I got angry about doing my readings. Here it was the last hour of my day and of course this is pone of the times throughout my day when I do my readings. And pardon my french, I’m pissed don’t want to do it, and really for no good reason I’m just pissed. OF COURSE I DO MY READINGS, I know you were thinking he just skipped it that night and went back at it in the morning whole new day and all that. No I could not just skip it, you see I have a commitment and this time I AM HONORING my commitment not only to my Master Mind Alliance but mostly to myself.
I have been lying to myself for decades. I’ve been telling myself “It’s OK you can start again tomorrow” Well the fact is it is not OK to skip a commitment with the lie that you can just start again tomorrow. I am better than that, I deserve to treat myself better, I MUST STOP lying to myself, my commitments Matters and I Matter, and I can no longer cheat myself.
Now let’s talk about the good stuff, THIS WEEK ROCKED. I won, I kept commitments to myself, I did what I told myself I would do. For some of you, I can hear you saying SO I do that all the time, Congratulations if that is the case for you, my hat is off to you. As for me while I do keep commitments with you on a regular basis, I don’t always keep commitments with ME. It seems it’s easy to cheat me. In fact I have cheated myself and others out of the life I’ve wanted, dreamed of and deserved. NO LONGER am I willing to cheat me.