It is amazing how quickly old patterns slip back in, for me it seems to take constant vigilance.
Had a break in our MKMMA program this week for the Holiday, this was not a good thing it seems. My old blueprint seems to be quit well entrenched. I’ve noticed myself in the I don’t want to’s. Do you ever feel that way? You know what’s good for you and you do just the opposite. Or you do what you must but begrudgingly.
I worked this week to remind myself that the transformation I’m working on is something I’ve been striving for, it’s been year even decades coming and I can’t stop now.
What I did get this week was the realization that the rituals I’m developing need to be fun they need to be a joy not a chore. I must remember what I’m working toward is the Land of Paradise, and it is ALL WORTH IT.
It is rather amazing to me how addicted I am. I haven’t had a drink or a drug in over 28 years and yet I’m addicted. It seems my body is addicted to the chemical reactions created from my thoughts and feelings. My body wants it’s fix. In the same way that I used drugs and alcohol to create a life I didn’t want, caused me and those around me to suffer and yet I couldn’t quit. I’m addicted to drama, frustration, defeat and lack and limitation and all the feelings associated with that way of life.
In order to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body I had to turn my will and my life over to a power greater than myself. (Which I chose to call God) I must once again admit of myself I am nothing it’s the Father within which doeth the work. So here goes Dad take this addiction from me. I can’t do it you can, so let’s go!
I AM ready, now is my time. My God is much bigger than any addiction, She can handle it all and I let it go now.
Peace & Blessings
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